Septuple hamburger madness

The weekend was crazy and busy and all types of tiring but despite all of that I did manage to get done a lot of what I wanted to get done so that makes me excited. One of the things I wanted to get done was to get over to Burger King to take part in their ridiculous Windows 7 tie-in promotion.

Here is an ad for it:



The main block of text, the one over the burgers reads:

"This extravagant colossal burger consists of 7 approximately 113g beef patties on a 13cm diameter American size bun"

That means, minus the bun and whopper condiments the thing is starting out at 791g. Altogether and after cooking we're probably looking at a 2 pound burger here. This is the kind of thing you'd only expect to find in America yet strangely enough it showed up in Japan. And as a promotion for Windows 7 of all things. Weird.

Anyway, I ordered the burger and paid the ridiculous cost, which was around $20 including the set I got with it, and trudged upstairs to sit and eat this ridiculous salute to meat and Windows.



As you can see, I am an onion ring guy. Also, if you look closely you can see that the burger is nearly as tall as the drink cup. It was really enormous. Actually, it was too large for me to eat in any normal way. I couldn't pick it up because it literally rained grease, making the bottom bun into an impromptu grease sponge, and I had no silverware because, you know, it's Burger King. What I was left with was eiter tearing it apart until it was an edible size or sectioning it off. I chose to remove 5 of the patties after a few ill advised attempts at eating it whole.

Let me tell you, eating a septuple whopper is not possible for someone like me. I am what Japanese people call 小食, ie. a light eater so the possibility of me finishing this was like the possibility of me fighting dog men on mars with OJ simpson; something that only happens in my dreams. I really tried hard to eat as much as I could though. That was a mistake.

I ate all the onion rings and drank the ginger ale I had with the burger but the burger itself was somewhere around 40% finished before I started feeling like the guy sitting next to me was going to be wearing the Windows 7 whopper if I ate anymore of it. I opted to stop at that point.

Here is a close up shot of the burger itself:



For anyone in Japan who wants to try the burger or attempt to finish it, you have to hurry because the promotion only run until October, 28th, 2009. That doesn't leave you a lot of time to get one so rush out now and buy one. Or, if you live outside of Japan, I guess you could buy 7 whoppers, disassemble 6 of them and add all the meat onto the remaining one to get the same effect*.



asterisk: I am not responsible for any nausea, vomiting, cholesterol level rise, or weight gain involved by taking the above advice. Love, Joe.