A sea of pink, white and black.

Over the weekend at the Christon Cafe in Shinjuku, Lolita fashion brand Angelic Pretty held a tea party for lolitas. Basically this is a cake and tea kind of party for their customers. I was not there or obvious reasons (not a big enough pink frilly dress to fit in), but I was able to get a few pictures from an inside source.

First we have a shot of the madness:

It's lolitas for as far as the eye can see.

As I mentioned, this was a tea party for lolitas, of course, what kind of lolita tea party wouldn't have a cute cake to go with the tea?

Apparently there were 100 of these cakes made especially for the event. They aren't normally on the Christon Cafe menu so anyone who wants one will either have to make a special request or go without. Sorry fans of cute heart shaped shortcake.

International Pole Dance Fitness Championship

Last night after work I took the train directly into Shinjuku for the International Pole Dance Fitness Championship. I was invited by a friend and got a discount so, even though I had little real interest in going, I gave it a shot and went.

I arrived with a few friends to find a long line outside of the venue, the Shinjuku Christon Cafe (I swear they don't pay me to mention them in every other post, it's just that lots of stuff happens there). We eventually got inside and while everyone else was putting things in a coat check I talked to one of my friends who was working there and I got a booth and started ordering food.

I was eating with one other person for the the first few performances so I didn't get to see any of the show, though there was a brief but loud "USA!!", "USA!!" chant after one of the US performers went. It was like stepping into a wrestling show or a teabagger cavalcade or whatever it is you call a group of those people.

After finishing dinner, I watched a small portion of the pole dancing. It was pretty impressive in terms of what was going on. I mean hanging off a pole horizontally is no small feat. However, there is really only so much you can do with pole dancing. There's a pole, you can climb and spin and hang and that's about it for using the pole. What some people can do is pretty amazing but not 3 hours of my attention amazing.

This means that I ended up back in the dining area with some other people while most of the event was going on. I did occasionally pop my head out of the dining area and even went out and talked to a few other friends during the performances but for some reason I can't recall seeing much in terms of pole dancing. I saw some kind of cliche unattractive singing going on, then I saw a Taiko performance and even an appearance by the New-Half Ninja doing the New-Half Ninja show. (Have I ever mentioned what a new-half is? It's basically a half-op transexual or in other terms a ladyboy. The new-half ninja is a ladyboy ninja.) Not so much pole dancing though.

The crowd was kind of weird and seemed to consist of mainly businessmen, foreign businessmen and girls who looked like they were fans of pole dancing. It wasn't the normal crowd that I am used to for events so I didn't really know many people. I did run into some friends though so that was good. The food, as always was good, and I had a good time of it.

Don't stop mario now!

Found this on another site and felt that it was sufficiently awesome enough for a repost.



Yes, this is Queen's "Don't stop me now" played via a Mario World hacked rom. Not only that, it's all four parts played simultaneously. I've seen a few of these types of videos before but none have been quite this impressive.

Some people, when they have too much free time, are prone to awesomeness.

Tokyo Decadance Halloween special

Sorry I've been a bit busy as of late and haven't really had a lot of time or energy for posting. That is unfortunate really because I'm sure I had some good stuff to talk about that I have long since forgotten. I should take notes.

Anyway, a video featuring me at the Tokyo Decadance Halloween special is up on youtube made by my good friend over at Telemak Films. You can check it out below:



Find the creepiest guy in the video, that's me!

Michelin Star Dining: Cerise by Gordon Ramsay

So not everything I write about here has to be weird of wacky or sub-culture related. I mean, I do other things beyond hanging out at the convenience store or dressing as a zombie sex goat or whatever it is that I'm normally doing on weekends.

This post is a pretty standard, non-wacky thing that I did. I visited Cerise by Gordon Ramsay, the newly Michelin starred fine dining establishment here in Tokyo. Gordon Ramsay actually has two restaurants in Tokyo, Gordon Ramsay at the Conrad and Cerise by Gordon Ramsay (also at the Conrad but whatever) but Cerise is the less expensive of the two.

Anyway, my dining companion and I opted for the course menu which is a three course dinner with an option at each course. For sampling purposes, we got every option so that everything could be tried. I'll review the meal course by course.

Here is the menu listing for the first course:

Click on the picture if it's cutting off for some reason.

Here are pictures of the dishes:

This one is obviously the goat cheese and fig salad. I only sampled this one but it was light and flavorful as well as having a nice contrast between the cheese and the sweetness of the figs.


This one is the ox cheek. Readers of this blog will note that it looks similar to the Mammoth snacks I posted in a different entry. The taste however what a million times better than those. It was a nice savory flavor intertwined with the saltiness of the bresaola. The horseradish cream was actually very subtle in flavor considering the strength of horseradish in general.

Second course menu:

here are shots of the dishes:

This is the sea bream. Actually, I am not a fan of fish in the slightest but I gave this a try just to test if the magic of fine dining could fix my hate of seafood. Nope. Everything that wasn't fish tasted good though but the fishy-ness which wasn't overpowering was still too much for me.

This is the lamb, which I ate. It was spectacular. The lamb was extraordinarily tender and didn't really require a knife for cutting. The bacon and braised lentils rounded out the flavors quite well.

Final course was dessert, which I forgot to take pictures of before eating so the ones below are half eaten. Sorry.

Dessert course menu:


The desserts, in their half-eaten state, look a bit like this:

The tiramisu is essentially an ice cream dessert with various toppings. It was actually quite good. I don't like espresso so I didn't sample it with the topping but the ice cream was delicious.

What I ate was the apple dessert. It was bavarian cream, which is delightful but I wasn't overly impressed with the ultra strong sour apple flavor of the crushed ice on top. It wasn't bad at all but it probably could have served the overall flavor better if it used some kind of fresh apple instead. Just my opinion though.

Overall, the dinner was great. The restaurant itself was relatively empty and the staff was very attentive and helpful. The cost per person was about $60, not including drinks (expect to add a lot more if you drink a lot) which makes it not terribly expensive in terms of fine dining. I'd recommend a visit if you are into delicious food in a high class atmosphere.

A single tasty doughnut

Where I am from, doughnuts are serious business in all aspects of that meaning. There is an unexplainable glut of doughnut shops in town (though admittedly they are mostly a bizarre cluster of Dunkin Donuts within walking distance of each other). However, there are many other options for doughnuts, mostly of the chain shop variety.

Since being in Japan, doughnuts don't quite have the same level of clout as they do where I am from but, that being said, there are options. The largest by far being Mister Donut, which serves up the standard range of donuts you would expect at any chain doughnut shop. There are others though. There is the wildly popular Krispy Kreme that still manages to constantly have a line despite being open for years now. There is also the overly expensive and far too heavy Donut Plant which tends to be greasy for some reason. There are even Japanese type donuts that are given Japanese flavors like miso or green tea (the actual cake however is essentially castella in a ring shape and not really a donut).

However, I think I have found an unlikely source for a great doughnut. Actually we aren't talking your specialty doughnuts like Boston Creme or whatever, we are just talking about a plain, old fashioned, home made style doughnut that is not greasy and tastes great. The unlikely source of this doughnut? Wendy's.

Yeah, the fast food restaurant Wendy's. They have a doughnut on their 99 yen menu and it's just a plain doughnut (with the option for sugar or cinnamon) that comes incredibly close to home made, non-chain store style donuts (despite their obvious pre-made shape). Here is a pic:

This one is with a cinnamon topping.

It sounds like a weird suggestion for doughnuts but so far, if you want a plain, no frills yet deliciously homemade seeming doughnut in Japan, Wendy's is your best choice.

Personally, I'm a Krispy Kreme fan all the way but occasionally, when the mood for a quality old fashioned doughnut arises, I'm bound to be at Wendy's.

Pig Pork Buns

It seems to be the ultimate goal of any Japanese company to make things as cute as possible. Some companies take the easy way out and just slap a hello kitty on the pink version of their product (I'm looking at you television, microwave and dildo producers!!) while others go to ridiculous lengths to find that just right amount of cuteness that will get people to buy their product.

Of course, food is no exception. There is practically a cottage industry of cute patterns and cookie cutters for bentos. All types of classes and groups for the betterment of bento cuteness and food display. This has even translated over to western food, where my friend La Carmina, who is a million times more popular than me and rightly so, has produced a book about cute foods with a less Japanese flair.

Where is this going? To the convenience store obviously. Wait, that's where I was going when I found this entry into the world of cute food:

This is is Pig Pork Bun. Very meta. It's a pork bun, which, for those who don't already know, is a kind of steamed bread that has a filling of pork and vegetables (although there are other types as well). This one, filled with pork, is decorated as a pig.

Here is a side view so you can get a better idea of it. These are actually mini-buns so they aren't incredibly big. They run for about 80 yen if I am remembering correctly. You can buy them at Sankus convenience stores and I'd guess Circle K as they are the same company.

However, those who know me know that I am not a cute food enthusiast but a horror enthusiast. I am not excited by cute food in the least so I had to make this a little more grotesque. What better way than eating it?


There we go. Pig pork bun, leaking it's porky innards out for the world to see. There is some cute horror for you.

Tokyo Decadance Halloween Special

So, this is a little late but on Saturday, the 24th, there was the annual Tokyo Decadance Halloween party. This year, the event took place at the Christon Cafe in Shinjuku, which is a great place. Great food, great atmosphere and the wait staff are all super cool.

Anyway, the event itself is pretty huge and I am probably the least qualified person to give an overview of what happened because even though I was there from 8pm, a solid two and half hours before the event started, I was busy doing makeup for myself and some other people. And then, when the event started, I was staff in the Haunted house area so I was completely out of the loop for anything that happened until about 3 am.

However, I am able to produce a few pictures taken from friends of my costume and makeup as Tokyo Decadance staff. I'm the monster:

This is probably the best pic of me alone that I have. I think there might be others floating around but I haven't seen them yet.

Another shot with me and a friend.

This one is good for the contrast alone.

Another one with the same friend. I'm pretty much the same, she's slightly different.

The event itself is like a giant club where there are DJs and intermittent shows that occur. The Halloween event is slightly different than a regular Decadance because the shows that happen tend to be musical performances as opposed to the standard type of strange show or dance that normally occurs.

There was some of that though, at one point a giant robot that was probably 12 ft tall was walking around the dance floor. There were live performances, none of which I was able to see because I was either doing something staff related or something makeup related. Rolly, who plays Frank-N-Furter in the Japanese version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show performed. Some other bands as well but I am out of the loop on that.

My main goal was to creep people out or frighten them depending on my mood at the moment. So that's what I did. I was a very successful monster for sure.

In total there must have been over a 1000 people who came to the event. It was jam packed with people and even the high-ceilings of the Christon Cafe couldn't keep the place from heating way up. The event itself is easily the best Halloween event in Japan, but also a fun event whenever it happens.

You can't out-weird Japanese chips.

Another blast from the past kind of post for people who read my private blog.

Anyway, the idea of this post started after a friend of mine posted a entry on his blog about "Ketchup and fries flavored potato snacks". The conversation on that came around to the obvious meta-ness of a potato snack being flavored as fries but also that Ketchup is kind of an off flavor for fries. However, having lived in Japan for nearly 5 years at this point, I've come across things that were multitudes more horrifying in the chip flavor department, and as an example of that I went to the nearest convenience store and took a picture.

Here is what I came up with:


What is the flavor you ask? Scallops and mayonnaise. No really, scallops and mayonnaise. That seems like an abomination that shouldn't have been unleashed on potato chips or the snack eating population as a whole. Maybe I'm biased due to my hate of seafood though?

It's like eating chips but with the extra worry that you might get seafood related food poisoning! (not that there is raw seafood in them but I wouldn't be able to get away from that worry)

Also note, these are only the weirdest I could find on the fly, I'm sure there are tons more where that came from. Hell, the ones below it are Japanese Curry flavor.

Maybe the weight loss comes through blood loss?

This post is an old one for my personal friends but completely new to a non-private forum.

The other day I went out to the local drug store in order to pick up a few things, mostly soap to wash dishes and a can of blood orange juice and in my walking around the store I stumbled upon this beauty:

What it is, I am not entirely sure. Possibly it is some kind of diet supplement or maybe it is some kind of vitamin supplement. I didn't pay that much attention to the actual item so much as the weirdness of it. It was given a rather large display near the vitamins and supplements though so we can go with that at the moment.

Here is a up close shot of the meaningless text:

Septuple hamburger madness

The weekend was crazy and busy and all types of tiring but despite all of that I did manage to get done a lot of what I wanted to get done so that makes me excited. One of the things I wanted to get done was to get over to Burger King to take part in their ridiculous Windows 7 tie-in promotion.

Here is an ad for it:



The main block of text, the one over the burgers reads:

"This extravagant colossal burger consists of 7 approximately 113g beef patties on a 13cm diameter American size bun"

That means, minus the bun and whopper condiments the thing is starting out at 791g. Altogether and after cooking we're probably looking at a 2 pound burger here. This is the kind of thing you'd only expect to find in America yet strangely enough it showed up in Japan. And as a promotion for Windows 7 of all things. Weird.

Anyway, I ordered the burger and paid the ridiculous cost, which was around $20 including the set I got with it, and trudged upstairs to sit and eat this ridiculous salute to meat and Windows.



As you can see, I am an onion ring guy. Also, if you look closely you can see that the burger is nearly as tall as the drink cup. It was really enormous. Actually, it was too large for me to eat in any normal way. I couldn't pick it up because it literally rained grease, making the bottom bun into an impromptu grease sponge, and I had no silverware because, you know, it's Burger King. What I was left with was eiter tearing it apart until it was an edible size or sectioning it off. I chose to remove 5 of the patties after a few ill advised attempts at eating it whole.

Let me tell you, eating a septuple whopper is not possible for someone like me. I am what Japanese people call 小食, ie. a light eater so the possibility of me finishing this was like the possibility of me fighting dog men on mars with OJ simpson; something that only happens in my dreams. I really tried hard to eat as much as I could though. That was a mistake.

I ate all the onion rings and drank the ginger ale I had with the burger but the burger itself was somewhere around 40% finished before I started feeling like the guy sitting next to me was going to be wearing the Windows 7 whopper if I ate anymore of it. I opted to stop at that point.

Here is a close up shot of the burger itself:



For anyone in Japan who wants to try the burger or attempt to finish it, you have to hurry because the promotion only run until October, 28th, 2009. That doesn't leave you a lot of time to get one so rush out now and buy one. Or, if you live outside of Japan, I guess you could buy 7 whoppers, disassemble 6 of them and add all the meat onto the remaining one to get the same effect*.



asterisk: I am not responsible for any nausea, vomiting, cholesterol level rise, or weight gain involved by taking the above advice. Love, Joe.

And, for all those interested, the newest seasonal Pepsi: Azuki

The newest seasonal Pepsi has come out and this time it's another traditional Japanese style flavor. Last time we had Shiso, this time we have Azuki. I'm not sure anyone knows what azuki is outside of people who like Japanese sweets so I'll explain, it's basically a small red sweet bean. It's the bean the is used to make anko, the red bean paste that is prevalent in Japanese sweets and snacks.

Here is a shot of it:



Here is a second shot that is a close up of the label text:



The text roughly translates as:

"An elegant meeting of Pepsi and Azuki. An exciting and new cola with refined sweetness."

Sorry, that is really rough, but you get the gist anyway.

The taste is kind of Azuki kind of sweet cotton candy or something like that. I guess it's not bad. I probably won't be running out to buy any more bottles of it but I did finish the bottle I bought so that is saying something.

Snacking, like a scene from Bonk's Adventure

Yesterday, while spending some time with some friends, I stopped by a convenience store to pick up some snacks and other food for the occasion. Of course, convenience stores are a plentiful source of stuff ranging from normal to soon to be gone because of it's bizarre quirkiness. Yesterday I ran into one of the latter.



The packaging, which is bright yellow and contains the picture of what appears to be a piece of cartoon meat taken from any of the various Bonk's Adventure games popular on the Turbografx 16 all those years ago (and let's face, not much was popular on the TG-16), is called "Mammoth Meat!?" (yes the punctuation is included in the name). The text above reads something like "A snack for a primitive experience".

However, even better than that, there is an actual disclaimer reading "This is a snack in the image of mammoth meat. The product contains no actual mammoth meat". As if people need to be reminded that mammoths became extinct somewhere around 4,500 years ago and there are no living mammoths for making snacks of.

The actual product looks like this:



This treat, frightening similar in appearance to a dog treat, actually tastes pretty good. I'd describe the flavor as a thin, crunchy mix between something vaguely meat flavored and a cheeze-it. The people I was with all gave it a thumbs up in terms of flavor, including one person who quickly declared it their new favorite snack. I can almost guarantee these will be gone in no time.

Gothic cooking with La Carmina

This is kind of old at this point but since I was lazy about updating over the summer I didn't mention it here.

Anyway, here is my appearance in La Carmina's gothic cooking show; Death Cookbook.
I am the hungry ghost making an all white dish vs. La Carmina's all black dish.



Follow the links in the "more info" tab of the video for the recipe and links to La Carmina's entry on this.

The age of pumpkin is upon us.

Japan in general is very big on seasonal items. Every season has a flavor or two that becomes ubiquitous during a few week to month period before it is in turn gobbled up by the next seasonal item on the list. You'll show up in the store to find everything is strawberry flavored or has something to do with strawberries only to come back a while later to find that strawberries have been wiped from the world and replaced by chestnuts.

In this constant Brahma, Visnu, Shiva type situation for food products the variety of things to purchase in are simultaneously expanded and shrunk in interesting ways. You'll no longer be able to find those delightful mango tea drinks at the convenience store but they will be replaced by an inevitable round of mango or grape in good time.

This comes up because, in the current state, pumpkin, or more correctly kabocha is everywhere. There is pumpkin pudding late at the convenience store and pumpkin cream pastries at the bakery near my job. Last night I ate at a restaurant and a large portion of their special menu involved something with kabocha.

Here is the menu that I was looking at:



On this menu, four of the 7 items involve some type of kabocha use not to mention the normal pumpkin variants that appeared as well.

The first item is a mashed kabocha salad with cheese sauce,the second a kabocha gnocchi, the third was some kind of kabocha dessert and the fourth is represented in the mixed dessert at the end. Not on the list but also special was a pizza with kabocha slices on it. Needless to say, it's pumpkin mania here in Tokyo.

A new home for a new blog

I moved my restart of Joe VS Japan to Blogger because I have a separate blogger account that I use already and it makes more logistical sense to do both at the same time through the same email. I'm just trying to make my internet life a bit easier. Anyawy, content has been completely moved to here and the previous home has been deleted. Hopefully anyone who was reading will be back here.

Tokyo Decadance 6/20/2009

In a feature I should call "Tales from a few weeks ago" which will cover things that I was too lazy to update on at the time, I'll talk about Tokyo Decadance.

For those of you who don't know, Tokyo Decadance is probably one of the most interesting events that occurs in Tokyo. It's a monthly club event that makes an attempt to combine the various underground club people into one event so you have lolitas and goths mixed with cyber and fetish and whatever else you can think of. It tends to succeed as it's generally crowded and full of interesting people.

Here are a few examples:

























Anyway, Tokyo Decadance itself occurs almost monthly. Sometimes there are off months due to European tours but generally it's monthly. A standard Decadance involves DJs, various shows and a lot of cool fashion and interesting people. It's the perfect venue for creative people to have a fun night and a meet other creative people.
If you are ever in Tokyo when there is a Tokyo Decadance I urge you to stop by at least once.